Do you ever find yourself in a bad mood for no apparent reason? Just pissed off in general. I’m in one of those ‘spaces’ this evening. Had a pretty good day at work, had a decent drive home, dinner was ready in my new delayed time rice cooker, it is cooler out that it has been the past few days…..by all indications, I should have been in a super great mood. But I’m not.
I tried to get some studying in before my husband came home. He walked in the front door as I was in middle of a chapter test, and the dogs got all riled up. I lost my concentration, and my good mood along with it. Found myself just pissed. I mean angry. I got over that initial bit really quick, but the malhumor stayed. I can’t seem to shake it, and there’s nothing in particular that it’s directed at. My stomach’s in knots, and I feel myself breathing heavily.
I’m counting on this exercise helping to move me in the right direction. Physically putting the words down on paper (so to speak). Vocalizing the emotions. Almost feels as though their power gets taken away. Maybe it’s the fact that through the act of writing, I’m creating, and creating is a form of meditation for me. I’m not sure, but it is working. The ridiculousness of being upset for no reason becomes more clear as I type.
There is so much to be grateful for, right here, right now. In this very room that I sit in. Two loving dogs lay by my feet. I know that they’d both jump up with wagging tails and expectant expressions if I were to call their names. The little one, would jump into my lap without hesitation and smother me with kisses. I’m sitting in a room, inside a house that I absolutely love. In the room next to me, sits the man that completes my life. I’m just a few days away from seeing a son I haven’t seen in almost two years, and holding a granddaughter who I will see with him for the first time. Life is bountiful, and to let myself get worked up over whatever the fuck came over me, is simply insane.
Begone bad humor. Leave, and let love and gratefulness take your place.