I went to The First Unitarian Church of Baltimore last night for their Winter Solstice service. It was beautiful. Not what I had expected, but beautiful nonetheless. My past experience with Solstice celebrations has been limited to gathering with a small group of people (women mostly) in a circle and going through Earth centered rituals to welcome the lengthening days while saying goodbye to the darkness.
The service last night welcomed close to 300 people, and it was held in the sanctuary. There was a lot of music, beautiful music, both vocal and instrumental, and many readings and musings by members of the church and the Minister.
As of today the days will start getting longer and our nights shorter. Most people celebrate this movement towards more light, but I find that I’m very happy and content with the longer nights. I enjoy walking in the morning with the dogs as the sun is just barely making his presence known and then walking with them again in the evening without the glare of sunshine in my eyes. I take comfort in the dark. I know as well, that much of my desire to be in the shadows comes from not wanting to be ‘seen’ in general. I don’t have to think about how I look when it’s dark out.
You know? I get so tired of having so much negativity about myself. The cycle has got to stop and I need to stop feeling like I don’t have control over how I feel. I wish I could flip a switch in my brain and just be positive for extended periods of time.
I needs to stop.
Darkness stays behind. Lightness lies ahead.